"___________"

I just don't have the energy
Anymore
Who I am is not what I wanted to be
And yet
Here I am, unchangeable and stubborn

It's too tiring to deal with it
Anymore
The "___________" overwhelms and consumes
I can't take the not knowing
The feeling of irrecovable loss

Knowing that no matter how hard I try
I'll never get it back
Whatever it was
I've lost it, as usual

Same old me making same old mistakes
Avoidable, sure, yes, definitely
So why?
Because me is me and true is true

The shoe fits, so I wear it
It's easy falling into routines
They're always there waiting
Master Mistress, come back to us

You're so much more comfortable here
We expect the worst
And we're never surprised
It's a good existence

So appreciate the bad.

-Trish